Sleepless Monday


Nausea is just about the worst feeling in the world. Despite being really common and there being eleventy billion reasons why it might happen, it’s still poorly understood. I *know* that the nausea that has awakened me between 2:00 and 4:00 am the last two of three nights is coming from my brain, not my stomach. I have gone entirely off the Xanax now, and I can only guess that true to the established pattern, my brain is reacting to that and it’s affecting my stomach the most. Much of our feeling chemicals are located or produced in the stomach, which makes it very sensitive to changes. There are those that argue that the stomach *is* a second brain–hence the feeling of  “being punched in the gut” when something bad happens, etc. Couple that with a nervous system disorder and you have gastrointestinal-emotional chaos.

This is all well and good to know but not particularly helpful at 3:30 am when I am curled in a ball waiting for the clenched gnawing to finally go away. My brain is peculiarly aroused by nausea and frets and worries and comes up with all kind of things to contemplate and pick at and stir up. I’ve considered all of my required tasks today, worried about having a PT appointment at the same time the housekeeper comes on Thursday and what to do with the child then, what needs to be done to get the guest bedroom (which for all but about 1-2 weeks a year is my secondary studio) ready for in-law invasion this weekend. The in-law invasion this weekend. The in-law invasion this weekend. The in-law invasion this weekend. I did my PT exercises. I forecast a life of early morning nausea and sleeplessness. It ended badly. I considered another day of not eating. Swore off red meat. Wondered about valerian and pot and melatonin.

I have to believe that this will ease up in a few more days, preferably prior to the arrival of the in-laws. I’m not that great at having company, particularly *this* company. I tend to “come down” with some sort of gut problem when they are here anyway. Maybe I’m getting it out of the way now? I’ll cross my fingers.


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