Mr. White, That Seems Expensive


Yesterday I heard back from the Pot Doctor. She’s not really a doctor, she’s a Naturopath. So, the Pot Lady. 

She texted me that she was on vacation until August 04 but to give her my email address. I did. 

She emailed me today, and this is what it said (her stuff is bolded, mine italicized): 

Ms Mcnabb (that’s not my name, so things are not starting off all that well)

I will be glad to assist you with this process.

I have reserved a personal consult to:
MON AUG 6th at 3pm
Hippy Dippy Location 
Initial Consult fee is $100 cash due at consult
Additional  certification fees range from $150 to $350 depending on condition
I will guide you and answer questions at that time.
Please bring
1. State ID
2. Recent records 2013 to present supporting an acceptable diagnosis
Dr Pot Lady

Forgive me, but What The Fuck? According to the NM Department of Health Medical Cannabis Program there is no enrollment fee. NO ENROLLMENT FEE. Clearly since it’s legal but still not legit, I guess we go through some version of that dirt bag on a skateboard that sold pot at lunch in the high school parking lot, huh? 

I have to pay her $100 to talk to her? To fill out a form? And then a further $150-350 based on which box is checked and what letters are stapled to it? So, she does nothing…NOTHING, except that if I’m approved she will give me the secret address of the dispensary. 
Despite a slight hangover and a general sense of things not getting better and concern for the future and no meaningful pain relief options on the table, I’m thinking that this pot business just may not be for me.
Back to square one, because as we know, that’s the only square there is. It’s enough to give even a nice girl like me a strong case of the Fuck Its

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