Category Archives: Uncategorized

Artful Blasphemy

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Today I am launching my latest project, Artful Blasphemy, a tumblr dedicated to breaking the fashion rules for those of us over 40 (and anyone else who dislikes being in a box). Please visit and follow for Outfit Of The Day, Art, Process and much, much more.

This blog remains dedicated to mostly whining about EDS, Chronic Pain and the like, but the new one will let me showcase the positive stuff.

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NEVER MIND.

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The doctor’s office just called and cancelled the appointment I have been waiting for since May. That the post below this is focused on in terms of how hard it’s been to even get this appointment. That I have a hotel booked for, that I have hired a house/child sitter for, that I have taken time off work to attend.

Cancelled.

They’ll be happy to reschedule me.

In Fucking February.

An Update to That Cheesy Post

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Here, I reported on my frustration with the lack of feminist allies in my general network following an unpleasant exchange with someone I felt had harrassed me. 

Naturally, it got even more interesting the next day, when the following email arrived in my work inbox (the author’s name has been redacted and substituted with That Guy Everyone Hates (TGEH):

Hello, [me] I never responded last year to the facebook message you sent me. I gave up on that after reading what you wrote because you invited no response from me, and were so final in stating that you were ending our friendship and cutting off all communication.

Obviously, this was very distressing to me, and came as a complete shock because you never implied there was the least problem between us. Our last meeting was when you, [husband], and I spoke at [a gallery] during the art ramble. I thought we had a very fun, enjoyable conversation, carried out in the middle of the room surrounded by art ramble attendees. Certainly nothing you said to me implied otherwise. [Your husband] also did not seem upset, though you told me in your message that he was. You even brought up your risque Zoomanity [sic] story. Why, if I was making you so uncomfortable, as you implied?

How sad all of this was because I appreciated our friendship so much, and admired your work so much. I nominated you two times to become a member of the [local art club], but you even chose to demean that effort on my part in your message. Why would you treat someone who had been such a good friend and supporter as you did me? I am still in the dark.

Yet, I had hoped to revive our friendship at some point. When I might happen to run into you I was going to say: “You know, do you think we could begin to rebuild our friendship, Guenevere? It really meant a lot to me.” The opportunity had not yet arisen.

But now, you have made a demeaning, damaging, untrue, and possibly libelous comment about me yesterday on facebook. In response to an off hand comment referring to Anna Wintour, you say I am a “sexist pig”. Did you ever happen to see The Devil Wears Prada? It satirically and negatively portrays a character based on her. Are people who criticize Anna Wintour sexist pigs? of course, not. She is criticized, ridiculed, mocked, and yet, admired all around the world. But… you chose to lash out at me. That would be fine, but what you then said and implied about me is not.

I need you to immediately remove your posted comment calling me a “sexist pig”, and I need you to post a comment at that same post page a withdrawal of your comment about me being a sexist pig, and that you apologize sincerely and without reservation for calling me a “sexist pig”.

I am a highly accomplished professional, and have made many contributions to our arts community. This is widely acknowledged. I have worked too hard to have someone damage my reputation without cause, especially over something so trivial as a joking comment about the editor of Vogue magazine.

I have made a substantial donation to the [university] theater department this year, and I am about to make two more. I do not believe your public comments about me would be at all appreciated or understood by the department administration.

Let’s please bring this silly feud to an end, Guenevere. We are both accomplished professionals with busy schedules and work to be done. Despite any disagreements I still hold some hope that at some point in the future we can again be friends.

Sincerely –

TGEH

Brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it? How mean I am. How sad he is. How confused by my objections to him. That, right there, is an entire lesson in Women’s Studies 101: Men Hate You. Also, that little implied threat about my job. Cute.

I replied:

Guy Everyone Hates, 

 I would greatly regret doing anything to jeopardize public support of my department, so I have removed my comment and have notified my Department Chair of the situation and my lapse of judgement, now corrected. I’m loathe to get into a “I’ll apologize when you apologize” sort of exchange, so perhaps we can leave it at that. I regret the choice of public name-calling, but it appeared to me to show up on a conversation that was between myself and [another friend] and not the FB population at large, and I did not  pause and consider if there were some other way by which you could “see” my page–as we are not FB Friends, I thought it wouldn’t be visible to you. Given our history, I felt you had no place in the conversation and I didn’t find your comment appropriate.

 Two years ago, at the point at which your treatment of me offended me, I notified you of my feelings. I am not sure why it is hard to believe that I felt embarrassed and humiliated by your harassing commentary, but I was, and I reached a point where I was angry with you about it. I felt that you assumed a liberty and intimacy with me that was unwarranted by what I considered to be a professional relationship. Your choice not to respond or apologize, I felt, told me all I really needed to know about your opinion on the subject. I fail to see why you are confused; you offended me, I told you what and why–what is there to be in the dark about? 

 I don’t, actually, consider it a feud. I consider it choosing not to spend time with someone who has made me uncomfortable. But, as I stated above, I will avoid any sort of public statements where social media is concerned, and I agree that it’s not appropriate. I’m happy to be civil, which I have been until this incident last night, and which I will rededicate myself to in the future. 

 I then forwarded the exchange to my Department Chair. He wrote the following :

Just an FYI…  TGEH has never donated money. 

Naturally. My sense is this; TGEH is teetering on the edge of appearing to be continuing to harass me after being clearly informed that his behavior was unwelcome. He has now added threatening my job, and now my boss has the chain of events in writing.

 

I hope that he just leaves me alone as I’ve asked, since the upshot of this was simply that I find his behavior offensive and want nothing to do with him. Seems pretty simple to me.

Hawking My Wares

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I periodically try to figure out who, besides me, would want to shop in an online store that offers fabric, sewing patterns, vintage clothes, and art to wear projects that I am inspired to invent periodically. I would assume that I am not the only “me” in the world, but it’s hard to tell. Today I listed the the necklace I put up on this blog plus another one I was inspired to assemble. Here they both are, decently photographed:

Collar Med 4 Collar Big 1

 

I like them both, and I would buy and or wear them both, so as long as there are a few more of me in the world, they may find homes.

_____________________

PS: Former readers of the old blog, I promise this will not just be art. I’ll still talk about stuff that’s more life-related. Stick with me, kids, it’ll get interesting soon enough.

It’s a New Year

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It’s a New Year

I’ll dip my toe into public blogging again, I decided.

Once I blogged publicly at The Well Dressed Recluse, which evolved out of my first blogging experiences with Ilyka Damen at her blog. A lot of things happened around 2005-2007, culminating in the death of my closest friend and her daughter at the hands of her husband, who also took his own life. TWDR became a blog about that event, and grief, and then it became the table on which a huge puzzle was laid out, and I stayed around to collect the pieces to see if it would, ever, make a picture.

Some of the types of people attracted to that puzzle were sorts I didn’t want peeking in at me, and so I finally took the blog down, marked it private, and then started a new one that was anonymous and invitation-only. The problem with blogging privately is the same thing that’s good about blogging privately–I could say anything I wanted, about anything, without concern of repercussions. Which also means it allows me to dwell and sort of gossip rather than interact and exchange.

I’ve decided, now, that maybe not being able to dwell would be a good thing. Is my life interesting enough to others if I am not blogging about a murder/suicide, or talking about people who aren’t there to defend themselves? Is it even possible to, for the most part, talk only about myself and things I have direct ties to? That’s the question I’ve posed. This year, then, I will see if I can figure out an answer.