Someone got to leave work and go straight to the cardiologist for an EKG this morning.
The weekend was horrible. I continued having nausea, and started to feel more and more spun up–like I was vibrating really fast and might fly into pieces. My brain was a runaway train loop of paranoia and anxiety. I started wondering, “How come instead of tired (which is typical of beta blockers), I am feeling revved up?” I knew that I was overreacting to things in the extreme. The interface for my workplace went down, and when I tried to log on it flashed that “YOU ARE FORBIDDEN” and I was 100% convinced that I’d been fired. That’s how my weekend went.
I called the Cardiologist’s office promptly at 8:00 am and they put me through to a medical assistant
YES THAT IS A TRUE THING THAT HAPPENED, SOMEONE IN MEDICAL CARE WAS RESPONSIVE. UNICORNS ARE REAL, TOO.
who said that she would get back to me as soon as the doctor came in. At 9:00 they called asked me to come in at 10:00 am.
YES THAT SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, TOO, THEY WANTED TO SEE ME RIGHT THEN TO DETERMINE WHAT WAS WRONG.
I arrived with a blood pressure of 144/110, shaking like a vibrator with new batteries and convinced, utterly convinced, that the doctor would come in and fire me. And that I’d had a heart attack over the weekend. And that they were going to put me in the hospital. And that I would die. My pulse was a casual 115.
The doctor came in and asked for the run-down and I described it all to her, so jittery it was hard to sit still, and she said, “I’ve never had that happen before. I’ve never had anyone have a response to taking this medication like that.” I said I was sorry. She said, “You don’t have to apologize, why would you apologize?”
YES SHE DID SAY THAT, IF I HADN’T BEEN DYING ALREADY I WOULD HAVE DIED MORE.
I said that I was worried that I was too difficult. She said that she didn’t mind that I’m difficult, and she wants me to feel better.
YES. CAN I GET AN AMEN?
She said, “You are having a paradoxical response, where the medication is acting the opposite on you from what it’s intended.” I told her I had a very similar response to Cymbalta last year, two times. She said it would take a week for it to clear my system, and since I had already tapered it for two days to just stop altogether. She decided that we would try Propanolol again, and see if it worked at a higher dose. She felt that my insomnia and such with it was my condition breaking through the drug, not the opposite, and that since I did not feel at all paranoid/crazy/jittery on it that we should give it another chance. I agreed.
She asked me if I had a nice long weekend. I said no, no I didn’t, I’ve felt like this all weekend. She said, “I’m really sorry about that. Stay in touch and come back in if you need to.”
YES. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER.